Less than three weeks to go

My due date is just under three weeks away. I'm so excited about getting to meet my new little bundle of joy! I find that the closer I get to her arrival the more fear I experience. I know my hormones are all in a jumble, yet it seems more than that. I haven't really let myself get excited about this baby. I have mere weeks and I'm admitting that I'm still scared that I'll lose her. I heard recently of a friend's friend having lost her baby in her 36th week-exactly the week I was when I heard it. I know that ultimately I am not in control of life. Since I can't control it, I think that it won't work out like I want it to. Which is sad, because I want to be able to trust in a great plan that is better than mine and much bigger. I know though that the second I see this baby for the very first time all fears will be silenced and I will just bask in my ever-expanding love for this brand new person. Hey, sounds like I'm letting myself get excited after all!