Making room for different

"We would rather be ruined than changed; we would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die." W.H. Auden
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If it isn’t good then it must be bad, if it isn’t happy then it must be sad, if it isn’t right then it must be wrong...at least that’s how I’ve lived most of my life. This weekend though I’ve seen something different. Since I envision events in my life happening a certain way, when it doesn’t go that way then it must be wrong. This weekend was anything but what I expected it to be, but instead of seeing it as being “wrong” I’m seeing that different can be good. At least in this case-I am the sufferingly melancholy pessimist so bear with me on these positive baby steps! 

I received a coupon to a local beauty parlor (do they still call them that?) that I wanted to use. Since I’ve been battling headaches and neck tension I figured it would behoove (great word isn’t it!) me to get a massage. Ahh, those relaxing massages. Following the massage Friday night the masseuse told me that I’d be feeling “flu-ish” since the massage was so deep. Normally I do get a headache after a massage so this was a different message I received. I tend to expel my toxins through my gastrointestinal system so I expected to have an upset stomach. I didn’t quite prepare for just exactly how ill I would feel. Not my plan but it worked out better than my plan. 

My son was so sweet! He helped me up the stairs after breakfast Saturday, put me into bed, massaged my shoulders, brought me his special pillow, and read books to me. I stayed there all day. My husband took the kids to the library, local hardware store, put movies on and let me sleep. Sunday was a bit better other than the lingering sore throat. I stayed in bed until lunchtime reading Max Lucado’s book Come Thirsty. God and I had a good chat, although I’m far from completely surrendering to His will (since it seems so vague), but that’s for another day, another blog. Anyway, not one to stay inactive for long, soon I was outside doing yard work. Got a tree planted (thank you hubby). Feeling good enough (anything other than death is good enough) to play volleyball I played some two-on-two for a couple hours. Something special was waiting for me when I got home from volleyball. I’ve been wanting to get my half-barrel fountain up and running but lacked the motivation to actually do it...well it was sitting there gurgling away. Then after my husband took a run, we enjoyed watching a family movie (Wall E) and then went to bed early.

My to-do list remains longer than I’d like. In the past, I’d kick myself for not getting “anything” done this weekend, but I got plenty done. I let my family do things for me-some that needed to get done and some that were frivolous. So hopefully next time I’ll remember that although the event isn’t going “right” that it doesn’t automatically make it “wrong”. And if I can remember that for more than a week, I’ll be celebrating!