Why is it that when someone admits they have lied to me, I feel foolish for having believed them? Like somehow I should have known that they were lying. Or if I “knew” they were lying but didn’t push it then I feel like I’ve done something wrong? If they are a good liar then it’s likely that I’d never have known until they confessed. But don’t liars only get good by practicing? So they’ve practiced, gotten good and yet still I feel stupid. Apparently there are white lies (read:acceptable sins) but even so-called black lies are prevalent and the consequences are curtailed. I’ve done my share of lying so I know that anyone who chooses to tell lies potentially threatens the relationship, but ultimately lives in extreme bondage. I believe it shows a lack of trust in that person. Freedom is found in truly being known and loved regardless of what we’ve chosen.
My how far I’ve come over the years! There was a time when I’d write someone out of my life for not trusting me enough to be honest. And I was a hound dog-I could smell untruth a mile away; not for the right reasons of course, but to protect myself from pain and prove a point. Gone (although not long gone) are the days of hyper-vigilance and thankful am I. Over the years as I’ve personally chosen more dishonesty due to fear, my perspective has broadened. This last week brought three different conversations where someone told me that they had lied about something. None of the three were connected and I won’t mention details to protect the guilty. I began to wonder what that says about me. Why would three different people from three different parts of my life all have similar feelings that they wouldn’t be able to trust me? Either I’m not trustworthy, or I appear not to be. Probably both at certain points in my life. I’m saddened that those three had to live months/years without the freedom to know I will love them unconditionally. Will I, you ask? I’m learning because of all the terrible choices I’ve made in my lifetime, that what people are after is love. Simple as that, love no matter what! Weird how although very different, my thinking has changed to be more like the world’s outlook on lying-not seeking to overlook sins because of moral relativism, but to restore relationships as they were intended. So to everyone this past week who finally came clean with me, I applaud you! May it break the walls that were separating us to allow unobstructed health in our relationships!
Nickelback puts it like this in the chorus of their song If Everyone Cared:
"If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died"
No comments:
Post a Comment